Hebrews 10:23 and A “Kind of” New Years Resolution

Hebrews 10:23

Let us holdfast to the confession of our HOPE without wavering, because HE who promised is faithful. 

I have written a little about how hard 2017 was.  And, I hate to make resolutions and look to the New Year as a new start.  Honestly, resolutions makes me cringe.  I have always just wanted to start over and get going whenever I feel it’s necessary and not wait for a magic time, or put off something because it will somehow be easier when the calendar turns over.  But, here I go…maybe I am turning over a new leaf, or maybe I’m just getting old; I did turn 40 in 2017!

I have been singing in church since…well, I am not even sure.  The first time was in a play with the kid’s choir; I think I was 10ish.  It was a cute little play about grace, and I sang my little heart out (my first solo) about how she (grace) “was alive and well and living in our town.”  I remember every single word of that song.  But, mostly I remember how I felt when I sang it.  It may have been just a silly little kid’s play but the words of that song found a place in my heart and I knew I was made to sing, to praise, and worship.

I went on to sing in youth choir, and on our youth praise and worship team.  I went to fine arts competitions and sang in the choir at school.  And, then I grew up and got to sing in the big church choir and on the big church praise team and worship team too.  My love for singing transformed into a genuine love for leading people in worship.  It is a humbling experience to be able to lead others into worship while doing it yourself.

I have never felt so close to God as I do while I am worshipping my heart out.  I feel a closeness that I find myself longing for when I go about my day to day.  So much that I usually listen to worship music and play it over and over in my head, and my house, and my car, and my office as I go throughout the day 🙂

Music makes my soul breathe.

And then it didn’t.

I found myself struggling to sing the words to anything.  I stopped listening to music almost all together.   Certain songs that I once loved to hear, and spoke life to my heart made me feel bitter and alone.  I wasn’t singing anything anymore and it made my heart ache.  I found myself lost in worship at church.

Not in a good way.

I couldn’t concentrate.  I couldn’t say the words, let alone sing them.  Sometimes the words would make me cry and long for the time that was before this time.  Sometimes the words would make me angry and want to run out of the room.  I did…twice.  I felt utterly and completely alone in an area of my life where I once found refuge and home.

And, it hurt.  This feeling of isolation and disconnection from a source that had once been a lifeline was painful.  Confusion added to the pain because a place of safety had started to feel dangerous to me.  And, honestly A LOT of places last year felt dangerous and scary…

2017 was such a year of extremes.  The highest highs (did I tell you we went to Scotland!!!) and some pretty low lows.  But, lately I have been reminded of a truth.  A truth that has been alluding me or I had been ignoring (I do that sometimes).  Maybe, what I should write is…I was just hit over the head with a longstanding truth! 

I was/is/will NEVER be disconnected from THE SOURCE who is/was/will ALWAYS be my LIFELINE.

Sure, I can be distracted by life, and feelings, and circumstances.  My family can feel out of touch because of opposition and battle.  My marriage can take work and my parenting can challenge me in ways I never imagined.  

All of those things should draw me to worship Him with my life not just my song.

Worship IS what we were created for, but we were created for more than singing and songs.  We were created to worship with our marriages, with our families, with our friendships, with the work of our hands, AND with our lungs.  This displacement I have been feeling has opened my eyes, and ultimately my heart, to the parts of my life that were longing to be included my worship of our creator!

I am drawn to my knees and reminded that He, the one who is THE SOURCE and THE LIFELINE to my soul, is always with me.  Even in the dangerous and scary places.

It urges me to worship even when my feelings are a distraction and it doesn’t look familiar.  Even when it takes me a little while to process the battle I am facing and helps me realize that any fight becomes a victory when worship is my weapon.

So, my “kind of” resolution is to remind myself, and encourage you, that He promised and He is faithful.  Victory is coming, whether we feel it or not.  And, I hope to be found worshipping the heart out my chest without or without music.

**But, here are two…okay, three songs that may help you get started**

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#untilyoumeetHim

I have been participating in few challenge groups through Facebook.  Fitness, clean-eating, and spring clean up are just a few of the groups I have joined to keep myself accountable.  I have loved being able to check-in, see how others are doing, and be encouraged.  You guys, I have given up Starbucks in an effort to eat cleaner…I may be losing my mind!

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Being a part of these groups gave me a little idea about other kinds of fitness too…

We all started Bible in a year plans in January (so what if you have to catch up 2 or 3 days at a time…oh is that just me?).  We have pretty good church attendance.  We wouldn’t dream of only praying if we were in our church buildings, and yet for a lot of us that is the only time we really worship.

I want to challenge you to take at least one day each week in the month of May to change your music.

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Hear me out…

We all listen to music, right?  We listen in our cars, while we exercise, and even while we are making dinner.  Whether you can’t clean your house without getting down to a little Uptown Funk or Bruno Mars, or you need to sit back and relax with Jack Johnson or Nora Jones, at the end of the day music is always somewhere in the background.  Music is something we all have in common.

Regardless of who you listen to or when you do it; I challenge you to replace one of those times with worship music.

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Listen to Hillsong while going back and forth for car pool.  Put on a little Gateway Worship while you fold laundry or clean the house.  Have Passion or Jesus Culture playing while you make dinner.  Get the new Bethel Music or Elevation Worship album and listen while you exercise.  Instead of the TV in the background, play some Hillsong United.

I think you will be amazed to see what happens.  How inviting God into your mundane tasks through worship re-tunes everything in your day.  How this little change magnifies His voice in your heart.

It’s amazing!  I hope you will all join me 😊

***I was thinking it would be fun to see who all is doing this by using Facebook or Instagram too; just upload a pic or share what your listening to with #untilyoumeetHim.  He meets us wherever we are even while we are cleaning, writing, running, or driving.***

as a tiny little side note: I consider worship music to be different from that which is played on christian radio.  I personally don’t care for contemporary christian music as a whole (there are a few artists will listen to, but for the most part, ummm no), so I would challenge you to find and listen to worship music versus christian music and see the difference!