Quiet

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Sometimes, I sit down at the computer and words just pour out of me.  There is no struggle about what I should share because I have already gone through it about a thousand times in my head!  I write, and somehow my head is less cluttered and my heart feels more settled.

Other times, I sit down at my desk and tap on the keys but no words are formed.  My hands just hover lightly, as if they know they should be typing, but that there is some disconnect between my brain and the tips of my fingers.  I get a kind of antsy-ness.  I don’t want to force anything out that shouldn’t be shared just yet, but somehow I have this feeling that I need to say SOMETHING; if I could just figure out what exactly it is!

I’m pretty sure that this post is gonna be like that last thing I said up there!

Things seem to be a little quiet.  Which, has to be a theme or something I need to get comfortable with, because when I looked back at the last thing I wrote (about three weeks ago), I felt the same way.

Just, quiet.

Sure, I could tell you about my latest teenager drama.  I could write about the falling leaves, or the wind and rain.  I could probably even tell you some of the things I’ve discovered about my relationships/friendships/parenting philosophies, and how these things relate to how I see God.  But, I just can’t seem to get any of it to make sense in black and white.

So, I am going to choose happy this week because it’s okay to be quiet.  Sometimes we just need to listen.  To just sit quiet and let the words stay in our hearts a little longer.  It’s okay to be still.  To let Him make sense of what seems to make none.  Let Him be the one who perfects the timing.  Let Him be the one who speaks just the right words at just the right time.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.  Its a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. 

Lamentations 3:25-26 (MSG)

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Just Be Quiet Already!

I have this little, teensy, tiny problem.  I am sure some of you also have this problem.  At least, I hope I am not alone in this!  I cannot, no matter how hard I try, keep myself from interrupting; especially when it comes to my husband!

I do it ALL the time.  And, not just while he is talking!  I keep him from hearing something he’s been trying to listen to during a really close football game.  I start talking right at the very moment something super intense and plot changing is about to happen on Homeland (seriously, who saw THAT coming last night).  I have even been known to open my mouth right about the time his favorite song is about to play, or the interview he has been waiting to hear, through about a hundred commercials, is finally on the radio…..oops!

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or TV show, or football game, or movie, or favorite song…

 

It’s become such a thing at our house that sometimes he just waits, expecting it to happen.  Then, as if on cue, I open my mouth, and blurt out something that could probably wait.  Sometimes, he even pauses the TV and looks at me.  And, I’m all like “What?!!!” with a silly grin on my face.  Then I proceed to tell him about some random article I read about the population of New Guinea, and how they have found the secret to raising the perfect hamster (yes, it’s that random).  I really should make more of an effort to control this flaw.

But, I still do it.

It’s almost like I can’t help myself.

Then, the other day, while I was running, don’t hate…I’m sure you all have things you do that would make me to roll my eyes too, I realized I do this with God.

All the time.

As much as I don’t want to admit it; I am the queen of interrupting.

Oh, it’s not as random as the hamster thing.  As a matter of fact, it’s usually with things that most would deem important…I ask that He would help me be a better wife, parent, or friend.  I pray that I would be able to make it through this Christmas season and not freak out because of stress.  And, most importantly, I pray that I would have self-control!  I really may hurt my kids!  I have one teenage son and two dangerously close to teenage daughters; it’s a real possibility!

As important as all of these things are, and even though I know that He wants to hear them, I can’t remember the last time I just listened.  Without interrupting, or putting in my two cents; just let Him work on my heart and show me His…

So many times, I am convinced that what I have to say is the most important.  My heart and my head are so loud!  Filled with the noise of the things I want, or how I think things should happen, and where I feel I should be at this particular moment.

It’s like everything is a battle.  And, the louder I get, or the more I interrupt will somehow impact the outcome in my favor.  It’s not until I force myself into the quiet that I can really hear the words that change everything….

 

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These words!  This little instruction that I so often forget.  This little passage in Exodus that gets kind of overlooked because of all the plagues, commandments, and disobedience.  These words are a powerful reminder that sometimes I just need to be quiet.

I am going to choose happy this warm December day because I am not forsaken.  He is faithful and will fight for me I just need to close my mouth, listen, and stop interrupting.