Quiet

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Sometimes, I sit down at the computer and words just pour out of me.  There is no struggle about what I should share because I have already gone through it about a thousand times in my head!  I write, and somehow my head is less cluttered and my heart feels more settled.

Other times, I sit down at my desk and tap on the keys but no words are formed.  My hands just hover lightly, as if they know they should be typing, but that there is some disconnect between my brain and the tips of my fingers.  I get a kind of antsy-ness.  I don’t want to force anything out that shouldn’t be shared just yet, but somehow I have this feeling that I need to say SOMETHING; if I could just figure out what exactly it is!

I’m pretty sure that this post is gonna be like that last thing I said up there!

Things seem to be a little quiet.  Which, has to be a theme or something I need to get comfortable with, because when I looked back at the last thing I wrote (about three weeks ago), I felt the same way.

Just, quiet.

Sure, I could tell you about my latest teenager drama.  I could write about the falling leaves, or the wind and rain.  I could probably even tell you some of the things I’ve discovered about my relationships/friendships/parenting philosophies, and how these things relate to how I see God.  But, I just can’t seem to get any of it to make sense in black and white.

So, I am going to choose happy this week because it’s okay to be quiet.  Sometimes we just need to listen.  To just sit quiet and let the words stay in our hearts a little longer.  It’s okay to be still.  To let Him make sense of what seems to make none.  Let Him be the one who perfects the timing.  Let Him be the one who speaks just the right words at just the right time.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.  Its a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. 

Lamentations 3:25-26 (MSG)

LOUD NOISES!!!!

Sitting here in my room with the sound of nothing in the background.  You would never know that it was a summer morning.  The house is unbelievably quiet; almost like no one is here.  The smell of my cinnamon coffee is in the air, and  the temperature outside is currently 54degrees…on August 21st.  That is still summer right?!

I have to admit, I love it.  I am over the humidity that hovered over us like wet blanket these past couple of weeks.   I am over it being so ridiculously hot and humid that it is in fact better to stay inside.  Days like this in the summer are just like the cold, snowy ones in the winter and I don’t like it at all.  Stay tuned for another post about 6mo from now talking about how I miss the heat…

The stillness this morning is as odd as the cool temp.  Sometimes our house is so loud and noisy it’s all I can do to make it to bedtime.  The TV is on, music is playing, someone is watching a youtube video about Minecraft, and no one takes into account who is speaking or listens to all the noise; they just talk over everything else.  Gaining my attention is a battle.  And, who ever is the loudest gets to be the victor.

I like to think I love the quiet.  That silence is my favorite and no noise is the best noise.  But, then it happens and all I can do is miss the sound.   The slam of cupboard door because someone is making coffee.  The squeaky pantry door opening as someone looks for breakfast.  The water running for a morning shower.  And of course, the voices that are always asking what we are going to do today or if I will make pancakes (my kids would eat pancakes for every meal if I would make them).

Keeping this in mind, I cannot help but think how I listen.  Do I turn my attention to the loudest and most in your face voice?  Do I only respond to what is screaming in my head or my heart?  Or, do I take a minute, evaluate what is going on around me and seek out who was there first?  The one who is sitting quietly waiting for the chaos in the house to suspend for a moment so they can be clearly heard?

Why is it so hard to be still, and then listen?

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I think we get so accustomed to the chaos and the noise we look for our answers in it.  We expect the loudest voice to be rightest voice (yes, it’s word; trust me right now I’m the loudest…).  And, then we totally forget about quiet.  We neglect the stillness, and look to the noise for our peace.  We get confused when there is no noise; like we have no direction when there is nothing fighting for our attention.

There IS good in the noise.  Sometimes, it’s the only way to gain our full attention.  But, how often do we miss Him in the stillness because we are looking for a display of His might?  How many times do we ignore the small voice in hearts because the good things are louder?

 

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Today, I am going to choose happy because He is God in the quiet and the chaos.  He is there for me in stillness and the storm.  I only have to take the time to listen.  

 

 

Just Be Quiet Already!

I have this little, teensy, tiny problem.  I am sure some of you also have this problem.  At least, I hope I am not alone in this!  I cannot, no matter how hard I try, keep myself from interrupting; especially when it comes to my husband!

I do it ALL the time.  And, not just while he is talking!  I keep him from hearing something he’s been trying to listen to during a really close football game.  I start talking right at the very moment something super intense and plot changing is about to happen on Homeland (seriously, who saw THAT coming last night).  I have even been known to open my mouth right about the time his favorite song is about to play, or the interview he has been waiting to hear, through about a hundred commercials, is finally on the radio…..oops!

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or TV show, or football game, or movie, or favorite song…

 

It’s become such a thing at our house that sometimes he just waits, expecting it to happen.  Then, as if on cue, I open my mouth, and blurt out something that could probably wait.  Sometimes, he even pauses the TV and looks at me.  And, I’m all like “What?!!!” with a silly grin on my face.  Then I proceed to tell him about some random article I read about the population of New Guinea, and how they have found the secret to raising the perfect hamster (yes, it’s that random).  I really should make more of an effort to control this flaw.

But, I still do it.

It’s almost like I can’t help myself.

Then, the other day, while I was running, don’t hate…I’m sure you all have things you do that would make me to roll my eyes too, I realized I do this with God.

All the time.

As much as I don’t want to admit it; I am the queen of interrupting.

Oh, it’s not as random as the hamster thing.  As a matter of fact, it’s usually with things that most would deem important…I ask that He would help me be a better wife, parent, or friend.  I pray that I would be able to make it through this Christmas season and not freak out because of stress.  And, most importantly, I pray that I would have self-control!  I really may hurt my kids!  I have one teenage son and two dangerously close to teenage daughters; it’s a real possibility!

As important as all of these things are, and even though I know that He wants to hear them, I can’t remember the last time I just listened.  Without interrupting, or putting in my two cents; just let Him work on my heart and show me His…

So many times, I am convinced that what I have to say is the most important.  My heart and my head are so loud!  Filled with the noise of the things I want, or how I think things should happen, and where I feel I should be at this particular moment.

It’s like everything is a battle.  And, the louder I get, or the more I interrupt will somehow impact the outcome in my favor.  It’s not until I force myself into the quiet that I can really hear the words that change everything….

 

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These words!  This little instruction that I so often forget.  This little passage in Exodus that gets kind of overlooked because of all the plagues, commandments, and disobedience.  These words are a powerful reminder that sometimes I just need to be quiet.

I am going to choose happy this warm December day because I am not forsaken.  He is faithful and will fight for me I just need to close my mouth, listen, and stop interrupting.