Keep Calm and Wait a Little Longer

In 3 short days, I am going to be 19 years from my 18th birthday.  That’s right, I will be further from 18 than I am close to it, yikes!!!!  Don’t get me wrong, the past 19 years have been great!  Let’s see; I planned a wedding, got married, started a family, graduated from college, and became a nurse.  We also moved 4 times, bought a couple of cars, built a house, and changed churches.

I have seen people come into and walk out of my life.  Some of whom I have been happy to see go, and others I still grieve over.  How can 19 years sound like such a long time, but in reality go by so fast?

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IMG_9294It seems like just yesterday Clint was proposing!  We got married and bought our first home.  Then, all of a sudden, Jaden was taking his first steps and we were finding out that he was going to have a sister.  Then, a few months after Isabella was born, we got the surprise that has always been Olivia.  Now, Jaden is talking about drivers training, and the girls are starting to rethink this whole sharing a room thing!

This birthday just feels different.  Like I can’t possibly be that far from a time in my life that held so much possibility.  Mostly, because I still see such hope and possibility in front of me!  And, of course, suddenly 40 is really, REALLY close!

And time keeps flying, and we wait for the next milestone….

Sometimes, I feel like all I do is wait.  For a baby, to finish school and become a nurse, to get a job in the NICU, to be able to stay home with the kids, to be comfortable with where and who I am…waiting, waiting, and then more waiting.

I can be really impatient most times (okay, ALL the time), and that leads to me trying to fix things.  I try to get everything exactly HOW I think it should be, exactly WHEN I think it should be.  I get so frustrated realizing that there are some things completely out of my control!

EVERY.  SINGLE.  TIME.

Then, this really wise and handsome guy (who I get to call my husband), pointed out that without waiting it’s really hard to trust.

I always seem to forget there are situations where the only solution is waiting and trusting.  Waiting to see God come through; because He is enough.  Trusting He has my best interest in His heart; because His love never fails.

That His timing is perfect.

The thing is, when I take a step back and look at that list up there; that list full of waiting.  His hand is everywhere in that list.  During those times of waiting, those times that seemed so frustrating, the times that felt so quiet, where He seemed silent and almost indifferent to my waiting…to our waiting.  Those are the times that forced the most growth.  The times where all we could do was wait, those are the times we were forced to find refuge in Him.  Those are the times we learned to trust.

 That list up there is full of answered prayers.

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During these last 3 days of my 36th year (and hopefully from here on out),  I will choose happy because He ALWAYS comes through!  He is always showing me how trustworthy He is, even especially in the waiting.

 

 

 

 

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Stuck in the Middle

As I write this it is snowing.  On October 31st.  Before Thanksgiving.  And, for some reason all of Facebook is up in arms about this!  I am pretty sure it snows around this time almost every single year.  Of course, it is not the kind of snow that’s going to stick.  It’s the kind of snow that brings with it a reminder of what’s coming.  Almost like a not so gentle nudge from nature to be grateful for the limited number of 50 degree days we have left.  Yeah, they are about to be a thing of the past.  The next time we have them we will all be remarking about how WARM 50 degrees is……that’s Michigan!

Is it okay if I start decorating for Christmas tomorrow?  I know the day after Halloween is probably not ideal, but if the weather is going to skip right to Winter maybe I will too!  Actually, one of my favorite holidays is Thanksgiving.  You know the overlooked holiday that is sandwiched between the ghosts and Santa Claus.  Why do we always overlook the pilgrims?  They seem to get forgotten.  I wonder why?

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I know why….they probably always did what was right.  The Pilgrims always said please and thank you.  I mean we have an entire holiday because they were thankful for corn and turkeys!  They probably always picked up after themselves and did the responsible thing.  Thanksgiving never tries to scare anyone like Halloween does.  It doesn’t blow anything up like the Fourth of July!  And it definitely doesn’t keep a list of who is naughty and nice like Christmas.  No wonder it gets overlooked; Thanksgiving is the middle child of American holidays!

I have a wonderful middle child.  She always has a clean room.  She is always looking out for her younger sister (and older brother for that matter).  She is my most responsible child.  Isabella is the best friend, student, and daughter anyone could ask for.  She always has been.  She slept through the night at 3 weeks of age.  She always ate like a champ, and was not at all picky; unlike the other two.  She always goes out of her way to make sure everyone feels included.  Her teachers always tell us how lucky they are to have her in class, and how lucky we are to have her in our family.  They are sooooo right!  She is incredible.

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I hate to admit it, but she does get overlooked.  We don’t mean to overlook her.  Sometimes, she is just so busy doing the right things and making the least amount of noise that we kind of take her for granted.

A couple of days ago, she was plugging through her day, finishing homework, getting ready for basketball, and NOT arguing about every. single. thing.  Of course, her brother and sister were doing the exact opposite (they get that from their father, by the way).  And, I saw her.  She was just sitting there being her cute, little, responsible, somewhat dramatic self but I saw her.

I saw how intentional she was.  I saw how she puts her heart into everything she does, and makes the best out of pretty much every situation.  I saw how she gives of herself every day without even being asked.  I was overwhelmed with how blessed I was to be the one who gets to be her mama.  I think she was surprised because I stopped what I was doing, hugged her, and told her how happy she made me.  I need to do this more often.

You know who never overlooks you?  Who always remembers your efforts and your choice to do the right thing?  The God who tells us not grow weary in the well-doing.  The One who sees you and the endless giving of yourself and says that you are the apple of His eye.  The Father, who sees you laying down your life for others; it may not be obvious to those around you but it is to Him.  He sees you.  He has you in His heart.  He holds you while the world moves on around you and you feel overlooked.  You have His heart the same way Isabella has mine.

This weekend, I am going to be happy even though it’s snowing, even though Thanksgiving is never given the attention it deserves, and even though it is getting colder and I am not going to get to run outside for much longer.  I am going to choose happy because there is no middle child in God’s family.