Today is the day! The last football game for the Freshman/JV team. This is of importance to me because both of my guys have been up-to-their-eyeballs involved with football since the beginning of June. And, this involvement has taken over any kind of life/schedule/family since that fateful day. Of course, it’s probably not as bad as I am making it sound, but it will be nice to eat dinner as a family sometime before 7pm again!
I mean, I like watching my almost 15yr old son get knocked around by other almost 15yr old boys as much as the next mom, especially when that son is a messy/arguing/always-right teenager, but all good thing and such…
**disclaimer-No, I do not actually enjoy watching my son get hit during football. No, it is not some weird form of punishment inflicted on him for his mouthy little mouth. Yes, my heart is in my throat each time that ball is snapped. Yes, you should realize I am simply trying to find some humor in this teenage maze that is my life right now**
It has been crazy over here. Between coaching and work, it feels like Clint and I have been on different schedules since the beginning of summer. Between school and practice, it feels like I haven’t said more than a few words to Jaden since classes started. Also, I have had more one-on-one mommy/daughter time with my almost teenage girls than any one mom should be allowed without some kind of mental health monitor following their every move.
It has felt like we are just going through the motions, and checking off to-do’s, so we can get to the end of the day. Because, at the end of the day we can find each other and commiserate about the last time we actually sat down and, just…well, the last time we sat down!
Please, tell me I am not the only one who feels this way. That going through motions, and feeling like you are doing the work with no real sense of accomplishment is a common thing, right?
A friend of mine posted something on Facebook the other day about running and not using her Map My Run app; like if you didn’t turn the app on did it even really happen kind of thing? I have to admit that’s how it feels to me; no app, no credit. Like I never laced up the shoes or hit the pavement. I know, I’m a little crazy like that. It needs to be on the list at the end of week; it just has to!
Wow, does my life feel like this right now! Like I am running around doing all of these good things, but I forgot to turn on the app that gives me credit! It’s like it never happened. We come to the end of the week, just to do it all over again and it’s the same stuff just a new week. Even, my devotional/prayer time has felt kind of quiet. But, I keep going through the motions and keep on keeping on…
Then, something happened and I had to stop and pay attention. I woke up one morning, after a pretty crappy night of no sleep and fighting kids, to find my self thanking God, praying, and just feeling very grateful. That’s right, I woke up with words of thanksgiving running through my head and my heart before I was even completely conscious!
I write all this, not to make you look at me and think I have it all together. Because, trust me…I don’t! And, if you think I do, this is clearly your first time here. Welcome!!!
I do write this to tell you that you ARE getting credit for all of those little things you do. All of the items that get done without a second thought; the things that get done just because that’s what you do. It may not seem like it now, but it all counts; even if we forgot to turn the app on. Our hearts are paying attention even when our heads are in a million different places. That’s why we keep on keeping on. Even if it seems like we have no time to spare and it’s just another to-do. We spend time with the One who stays in confusion and chaos, because even when it feels like no one is hearing us, or that no one is paying attention to our work we still get credit for it.
So, I am choosing happy this week because even when it seems quiet or feels like I am just going through the motions, and even when all I can seem to do is stand; my heart is still listening. My heart gets it even when I don’t, and that is a very happy thing if you ask me.